It’s About Not Giving Up

I was having a conversation last night with some old friends, (old as in we’ve been friends for a long time, not that they’re old in age). :) Anyhow, as we were discussing our lives and situations one of them asked, “What do you do when you’ve lost hope?” It was a quite timely question for me as it’s something I’d been processing plenty lately.
There seems to be no shortage of experiences in life that can cause a person to lose or struggle with hope. I can honestly say things have certainly felt pretty hopeless at times as we’ve lived through repeat losses and disappointment with trying to become parents. People would say (and still say to us) don’t give up hope, one day you will be parents. And while I appreciate the encouragement I echo my friend’s sentiment, how DO you not lose hope when things feel so, well hopeless?
For me right now, I am finding hope in the act of refusing to give up. When I refuse to let what’s happened to us dissuade me from pursuing becoming a parent, I am persevering. I may have an empty nursery, but if I gave up it would still be empty. If I refuse to quit trying to become a parent however, eventually there’s an excellent chance a child will end up in our home. There’s hope in that fact. I may feel sad and things may feel bleak sometimes right now, as they naturally would…I’ve just lost another child; but if I give up the sadness wins, it remains. If I persevere I’m giving my life, and my God the chance to change these tragic circumstances.
I think about Romans 5:3-4 (picking up just a pinch before 3), “And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope.”
Now I’m not saying I’m rejoicing all that much in my sufferings. Frankly I think they suck and I’d rather not be experiencing such grief. But I don’t think this passage is insinuating I should to be celebrating that I’m suffering, as much as it seems to be suggesting that it makes a difference how I approach my suffering. If I refuse to let my sufferings squash me completely, if I allow myself to learn and grow through them; the transformation can in the end be potentially beneficial, and perhaps even something to be grateful for. Perseverance develops character, and character hope. So, in the midst of pain and frustration, if refusing to give up (especially when giving up seems easier) is perseverance, then through perseverance an opportunity to develop character; and then therein lies the answer to the question…HOPE.
It seems to me, not losing hope is about NOT giving up.