An Adopters Labor Story

We attended our 2nd Adoption Connections meeting, (a sort of support group for waiting families) this week. I find it so encouraging to be around others wrestling with similar frustrations, and feelings, it gives validity to my own I guess. I also enjoy the variety of families at different stages in the process; some have been placed and are waiting for the child to be born, some have had a false start and are still waiting, and some are like us, who are still in the beginning stages of their wait process. The group facilitator referred to the wait process as sort of a roller coaster ride, which I think is very accurate. Yet as I was listening to one of the other women share who has an adopted child that sometimes she doesn't know what to say when a girlfriend (who may not know her child is adopted yet) asks about her pregnancy and/or labor story. It was interesting to me because although it was more of a conversation of how to tell people graciously your child is adopted, I was struck by the thought that "this" is your pregnancy and labor story. Not only that but any and all those years of struggling with infertility or loss...that is pain, that is agony...that is labor, and a long one too.
Granted, I have been through labor myself; twice in fact, and it was painful, with even more painful results. But I started to think about it, about our whole journey as part of a longer process. As my very LONG labor, which will eventually garner the same results as others one day. If you think about it, you go through many of the same emotions; waiting, pain, pushing on when you're weary, anticipation perhaps coupled with a little fear in wondering if you can really do this, heck you even consider whether or not you should take "the drugs" or not.
So, I've decided that after we get a placement, and someone asks me how long I labored with my little one, I'm going to be very up front and without hesitation say "Oh, years!"
Because after all, it's the truth.