Family Portrait

Last night we filled out our preliminary paper work to begin pursuing adoption. As we considered our options after losing our precious Noah, we both felt pretty strongly that adoption would be the best way for us to have the family we so desperately desire. I'm hopeful and excited but pretty nervous too. It's an all too familiar and vulnerable place.
It's funny as I look at all my friends and their families; photos of smiles, laughter, full love...I wonder, will Brian and I ever have this? We've tried and invested so much and have been left empty handed and broken hearted over an over again. It's a wonder to me sometimes why we don't just throw up our hands and say forget it. But we don't. Neither one of us wants too.
I still believe we will someday have that family we have been praying and hoping for. Right now the photos in my head are fuzzy, and in the end, they will probably look a lot different than I originally imagined; but I still trust that someday we will have that family portrait. Then I too, will have that smiling, laughing, loving family.